I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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