5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
