don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
