i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pants are for mortals
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
