Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
