I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
