I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize