ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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