That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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