What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
