Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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