just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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