My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
pray to the hookup gods
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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