Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
