Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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