Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
