The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My room smells like vodka and shame
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize