How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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