i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
