PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
