I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
