Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
false alarm. still invincible.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
