ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
