"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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