It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
