a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
