Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Vodka?
Forever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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