Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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