I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
