Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize