I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
