the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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