Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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