She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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