Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
