Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
