just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
