Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dignity is for republicans.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
