I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
