Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
