this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
