I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
