can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
