i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
