It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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