you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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