He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
