he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
