I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
