I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry about my life...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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