You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
