i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
