I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
