she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
