Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
