i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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