Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
