YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
