She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
