If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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