What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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