I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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